[Nota Bene: this post is written to address guys but definitely applies to you too, charming and amazing members of the opposite sex, if you ever happened to think « he’s out my league »]
First, let’s define the issue.
« Out of your league – An expression used when a girl is just too hot for you and you have absolutely no chance with her. » As in:
Dude don’t even try it, she’s way out of your league.
Guys. Have you ever felt a girl was out of your league?
If so, we have to talk.
We have to talk because this mindset is most certainly a nuisance, a road block, a show stopper (you get the idea) in all other spheres of you life. As they say:
The way you do anything,
is the way you do everything.
– T. Harv Eker
(source: The Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker)
I’ll let this one sink in for a while. Think about it.
When have you felt « out of your league » in other contexts?
Asking for that new position at work? Asking for a raise? Starting this new project you always dreamed of? Speaking up when you want to?
I want you to start thinking differently from now on.
Because you owe it:
- to you
- to your family
- to your friends
- to your children
- to your unborn children
- and even to me! (why not!)
In short, you owe it to all of the people’s life you can impact and change for the better by taking more actions.
You owe to yourself to start now building the life you want and deserve.
OK. I’m not saying you should just walk up to the next hot girl you meet and ask her out – although you could, it would be a nice comfort zone exercise but of course, always stay classy! My point is: thinking someone or something is out of your league is disastrously wrong and counterproductive. First, you’re just giving up before even trying. Second, it’s an oversimplification of a more complex situation. It’s the all or nothing syndrome where you choose to go for… nothing! It’s a fixed mindset, not a growth mindset (Mindset: ever read that book? if not, just do it).
First of all, human being are complex creatures (duh!). When you stop yourself at « she’s way too hot for me » you’re stopping yourself at a tiny bit of information. You’re basing your judgement on probably less than 5% of the information available. There is more to than meets the eye, my friends. What if that hot girl is tired of all the arrogant guys that approach her? What if she is super shy herself? What if, what if, what if. You don’t know.
Yet, you don’t take action.
What if you both have very similar set of values? What if your strengths could help her overcome some of her weaknesses? What if walking up to her thanking her for her great smile lights up her day that, up to this point, has been a disastrous string of bad lucky events?
Now. Take this analogy, and translate it the other scenarios you have identified earlier. Can you start feeling a change in your thinking? If so, share this article to one friend of yours that can benefit from it – free karma points included.
Of course, as in anything in life, there is no free lunch.
“To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people.”
– Charles T. Munger
Reading this article and thinking, « hum! interesting! » and going back to your same ol’ habits will just do nothing.
If that’s your plan, just close this window immediately.
Good! Now, for the rest of us!
When you share this article with your friend, commit to him or her – and to yourself. What is the one thing that you want to improve right now in your life? Tell him that very thing – in private if need be. Commit to yourself to start changing the way you approach life.
In the end, remember that, in life:
Everything is temporary
That hot girl will grow old, your current uncertainties, your excess weight, that very device your reading this article on, your parents, your friends, even yourself – and me. Time keeps moving forward, so should you. Learn, grow, repeat, and break those mental barriers.
As the Backstreet Boys say so well in their song « Show ‘Em » (and yes, I love this song. I swear it’s true!):
Just show ‘em what you’re made of
[drops the mic and walks out]